American author, activist, and lecturer Helen Keller, June 11, 1916
This entry was written the day after my mom started a part-time job at a travel agency. I apparently was not pleased with this turn of events....
1. Not prohibiting slavery throughout the United States. We know that if the Founders had abolished slavery, we probably wouldn’t have had a United States, but political expediency doesn’t make the hypocrisy and inhumanity of allowing slavery in a nation founded on “liberty”, “freedom”, and “equality”.
2. The Founders should have placed a notice somewhere in the Declaration of Independence or Constitution that said this:
"Attention Assholes of the Future: This is a living document and, as such, it will and must evolve with the advancement of time and technology, growth and national maturity. It should not be considered Gospel and held to the standards of the era in which it was created, especially over 200 years later. It is the foundation upon which the framework of this country is built, but like any type of construction, it should be renovated, remodeled, and restructured to fit the needs of the American people and the time in which they live. In order to sustain the ideas and ideals behind this wonderful nation, you must recognize the organic nature of this incredible document, allow it to develop and progress, and certainly not hold fast to a rigid interpretation of it since it was created in an era completely alien to yours. Had we been able to foresee the possibility that you dumbshits would interpret is as if you were still wearing powdered wigs, stockings, and buckled shoes, we would have simplified it for you, but we didn’t because we assumed that Americans of the future wouldn’t be jackasses. Now shake off the stupid and make us proud that we took this awesome, beautiful country from the natives who rightfully possessed it for thousands of years prior to our generous gifts of slavery, smallpox, religious fanaticism, and alcoholism."
I wish #2 was also included in the Bible